Tag Archive | A Course in Miracles

Mystical Inner Journey

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“My father does not exist. I don’t want to breathe like this anymore.”

It all started with a prayer. Actually, it was more like pleading for help. I didn’t t know to whom I was praying to or what I was praying for. All I remember was kneeling on the yoga mat in my yoga room sobbing countless times. I felt alone, confused and desperate. I was twenty nine years old and recently divorced. I wasn’t happy in my marriage and I wasn’t happy alone. I wasn’t happy (period). I was so in love with my husband, what had happened? I had a great job and a good life, what was wrong with me? I had read on Yogananda’s book Autobiography of a Yogi that if you prayed with total devotion to Babaji, one of the masters, that he would actually come. I remember that night well, I lighted a candle and prayed to the invisible. I called Babaji’s name three times out loud and I asked for help. Someone must’ve heard me!

The first help came in the form of a tantric teacher who taught me to cultivate a relationship with the Divine Mother. The Divine Mother as the feminine aspect of God, as the cosmic mother of all things, as the primal force of creation in all forms. I learned about Goddesses of all religions and I developed a devotional attitude that sparked love within me as I never felt before. Wether It does work to invoke the divine Goddess energy or I was just focusing on something other than my melodrama I started getting happier!

Second help came in the form of a friend of a friend. A musician friend of mine had suggested I meet this guy who had just moved to Florida from New Jersey. With this new friend I learned where my unhappiness was coming from and how much healing my heart required. He facilitated my first breath-work session, breathing in a circular manner connecting the inhale and the exhale while coached by a breath-worker. In the first twenty minutes I was sweating profusely and all of the sudden I felt a wall in-front of me. My breath coach asked me one question about my father and responded with an assertive tone of voice “My father does not exist. I don’t want to breathe like this anymore.” I declared the session was over and I went home.

Once home back to the safety of my aloneness I wrote on my journal. Obviously my father existed and enjoying very good health. In that moment I realized I had some inner exploration to do! I knew breath-work was going to heal me. Few months later as suggested by my new friend I registered for a 9 month Rebirthing Breathwork Program. This program was one weekend per month for nine months at the Philadelphia Rebirthing Breathwork Center. Every month I flew from West Palm Beach to Philly to unravel the imprints in my subconscious mind, the thoughts, feeling and emotions stored in my body. Most importantly I was getting to know myself.

I was making peace with my past by working with  conscious breathing, forgiveness, integration of un-acknowledged feelings and community. Breathwork and the support of my senior teachers help me relax in my body and to trust myself enough to allow the emotional charge to come forward and be released. I found safety within my mind to feel, to speak my truth, to let go and to share the work with others. I realized how not having bonded with my mother created unsettled feelings in the core of my being. These feelings never allowed me to experienced I belonged anywhere. I saw how my first broken heart was actually caused from not having my father’s presence. I became aware on what drove me to leave my country and family  at the early age of fifteen years old. I processed my upset feelings with my parents, I became aware of my judgements, expectations and projections.  Every time I would visit my parents I would notice how my relating to them would change. I had more patience, more space for them to be themselves. I was just more present for me and for them which in turn brought more joy and connection. In addition to healing with my parents my relationship to men also changed. I became more available, more loving and understanding to the man in my life. In general all my relationships improved as a result creating more intimacy within myself. This healing didn’t happen in one session or in one training. Deep healing happens over time and in layers. My commitment to my healing and to breath-work was the catalyst to change. I stayed alert to my thoughts and now I knew my tendencies and patterns; I wasn’t in victim consciousness anymore.

I understood the truth of the statement “your thoughts creates your reality”. Every time my mind wanted to blame I would remind myself of my choices. Little by little I saw the drama that I had created and with time and awareness started to see the beauty of it all.

Today I continue to work with conscious breathing and I am always amazed by the power of it’s simplicity. Is my heart healed? Absolutely! Do I continue to heal different aspects of my mind? Absolutely!

One thing is for sure I have more happiness and love in my heart and I have a tool that I can always count on…conscious connected breathing!

I am forever grateful to the Universe, the Cosmic Mother, all angels , gurus, and Spirit guide who heard my calling and continue to guide me and support me!breathing

Sula dePaula

Creator of A Breath of Consciousness Breathwork CD.

www.suladepaula.com

Steps to expand gratitude

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It’s Thanksgiving time in the US.
A time to gather with family and friends and share food, love and gratitude.
I am aware that for some people right now the feeling of gratitude is not the easiest to access.
What if you don’t really feel grateful?
What if its been a hard year for you, or if the world’s issues has you on a spiral down into gloomy feelings?

Instead of making yourself wrong try these simple steps to have and enjoy  a bigger grateful heart. Please share with others as you never know who is struggling within.

1. Energetically lower any walls, barriers, barricades, or “Do Not Enter” signs around your heart center. Allow your heart to open, staying present and vulnerable.

2. Do a fear and/or resentment inventory. You can do it as a writing process if you wish or just ask “If I was resenting someone or something right now what would it be?”, “If I had fear right now what would it be?”, and “what would it take to clear it?”. Let it go.

3. Invoke kindness. Lower you barriers again and soften your edges and become aware of your surroundings. Start with expressing gratitude for the obvious things around you. “I am grateful for the roof over my head” “I am grateful for the clothes I am wearing” “I am grateful for the body I have”. Slowing expand your awareness and your vision acknowledging the blessings in your life by expressing conscious gratitude for it. “I am grateful for my friend” “I am grateful for the town I live in” I am grateful for all the events in my life that led me to this very moment” “I am grateful for this journey called life” “I am grateful that I am in my life” I am grateful for the Earth”. Etc.

Acknowledge YOU! Acknowledge yourself for creating all the things in your life! Good or bad because at the end of the day ALL of it is a contribution to your personal evolution. Once you can do that with sincerity you will naturally extend it to others.

I am grateful that I never give up on my happiness.
Gratitude expands who you are, what you are, what you do, and the gift you are to the world.

Thank you for your contribution to me and to the world!

Happy Thanksgiving!

San Pedro Whispers

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Unexpectedly I felt his touch.
It was as gentle as Humming bird kisses
I sensed the pull to unknown ceremonies down in the Canyon
Tired of my pain and committed to my freedom I showed up
I showed up again and again
Embraced by love and grace
Slowly unraveling my story
Purging projections and expectations
But It was in his land…
A land of high mountains, gentle people, and fluffy lamas
In his land the deepest blind spot came to light
Head pounding, body shivering
In every shiver eons of emotional tension released
Light of consciousness dissolved dis- ease of mind and body
The Earth swallowed my anxieties
The awareness of my personal trap was clear
I laid down my armor and my shield
I said goodbye to the one who has been fighting everything
Yes is the mantra, all heart opens
Separation was my mind’s perception and rejection was my defense
I now include myself in oneness with trust and vulnerability
I surrender my forceful will and bow in gratitude
eternal friend, where ever you are I am blowing humming bird kisses back to you.

Being You and no one else!

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Healing touch heals my body.

Circular Breathing heals my mind.

Access Bars ® energy work gives me the space to be me.

I didn’t think it was possible to be me without justifying or trying to fit in. I didn’t realize nine percent of the time most of us are mimicking others in a desperate attempt to be acknowledged. Is there a secret wish to live everybody else’s life but ours? Where did we buy the lie that everyone else is happy but us?

When we truly stop being other people, people from our past or present, a huge space opens up where there is nothing. Its not comfortable as the big question arises “who am I now?”  At first is terrifying the energy of the thought “ If I am not choosing for other people what am I going to choose now?” Then the space of possibilities opens up and many choices pops up. The most important question at this moment is “what can I choose that will be fun for me and create the future I like to have?”

When you have the space to be truly you there is ease in being all that you want to be.

At will you can explore what is actually available and not be in auto pilot responses to everyone else’s expectations or projections.

When you create the space to be you all of the sudden there is also space for others to be themselves.

What would it take to be totally aware when we are mimicking other people’s path ways and realities?

Who are we being when we are choosing against ourselves?

Can we destroy and uncreate all the ways that we diminish our being to fit into someone else’s ideal reality?

Lets choose more space! Be You and no one else!

Sula

Group Breathe May 20th.

…And so the wind has brought me back East

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Yes! I moved back to where I call home…South Florida! More specifically the charming town of Delray Beach. When I moved to S.FL I was 15 years old and fresh from the boat! Kidding! 🙂 I flew from Brazil and landed in Miami. It was here that I made my early history of an Immigrant trying to fit in. It was no struggle in adjusting to the new culture. I learned English in 6 months and loved being here from day 1. Never once had a thought of moving back. Florida was home for 21 years.

4 years ago my adventurous spirit was asking for change. For no particular reason I moved across the country to California just in the name of EXPANSION. California gave me so many gifts. Not only did my journey expanded my entire Being but it made me realize how amazing my life was here. I am so grateful for my family, friends, and the entire S.FL community for supporting me and welcoming back!

In Los Angeles I was once again the new kid on the block trying to fit in but this time I struggled a bit. So I chose to accept the beginners seat and be a student. I took a part time job, met great new friends, and committed to a relationship. While keeping up with my Breathwork I started taking Access Consciousness Classes. I was attracted to it since I love energy work and when I heard the founder say “It will increase your ability to receive” I was sold! I will do anything that will help me receive more from the Universe. I always knew the core block we all have is to receive everything that is available to us in the now.

Receiving is an “allowing” not an action. I had learned from the A Course in Miracle that giving and receiving are one in the same. Still, I needed a practical tool to build my receiving muscles. Most us are really good at giving and not so good at  receiving. If we could only drop all judgments and receive each other as we are…If we could drop all expectation and projections and receive all from the Universe…what if we could?

I have been practicing the Access tools for almost 3 years and it has increased my awareness in so many ways. I found a way to drop my righteousness, my sense of fairness, my investment in people getting me, and the rejection when people didn’t get me. I found a way to be lighter in the world. And so much more!

I will resume teaching my monthly Breathwork classes as well as the new tools from Access Consciousness.

My newsletter will continue to be about Breath, Consciousness, and how to make this reality work for us not against us.  If it does not resonate with you unsubscribe bellow. If it does please share with others. Lets continue to expand in community.

I love being a contribution to you…if you receive me!

Happy New Year!!

Coming home special for my offerings…

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Happy New Year!!
Sula dePaula

What I pray for! A Poem

What I pray for! A Poem

What I pray for…
For the greater Vision…
the release from judgment.
For complete memory of God…
the release from separation.
I pray for readiness.
For the embodiment of humbleness…
the release of the Ego.
For listening to Mother’s Song…
the release from uncosnciousness.
For – Giving…
the release from wanting.
For Miracles…
the release from projection.
For the awakening of the Serpent…
the release from madness.
I pray for Truth.
Sula dePaula