Tag Archive | breath

Healing the Inner Child

blondgirlI took my inner child for a walk this past Sunday. She is about 5 years old with golden locks of hair and sad eyes.
She wanted to cry. Not just some tears or a random tantrum. It was a deep visceral sobbing. It wasn’t a long “poor me” crying session either.
It was a release from sadness in every cell in my body.
It felt like in that one cry, I cried for my mother, my grandmothers and all children who felt neglected.
I have done lots of inner child work before, I teach it almost daily to my clients, never did I have this communion with my little girl before.
I asked her the usual inner child questions ‘What would you like to say?” and “what would you like to hear?’.
I think there is an Universal Inner Child within us. He or she wants to be seen, heard, and valued.
I practiced slow deep breathing with her in a seated position and I just allowed her to hang out with me all day.
It isn’t so easy to do inner child work, that is why most people avoid it all their lives. It feels raw, extremely vulnerable, often times confusing and emotionally draining.
But the rewards are many. Inner child healing creates integration as a functioning adult, emotional maturity and a greater awareness when acting or reacting from a child’s perspective.
As we give our inner child what she perhaps never had, like deep listening, we will naturally create others being present, kind and loving towards us.
What does your inner child like to have or do today?

Mystical Inner Journey

25-Amazing-Mystical-Bridge-Designs-Will-Take-Your-Breath-Away-1

“My father does not exist. I don’t want to breathe like this anymore.”

It all started with a prayer. Actually, it was more like pleading for help. I didn’t t know to whom I was praying to or what I was praying for. All I remember was kneeling on the yoga mat in my yoga room sobbing countless times. I felt alone, confused and desperate. I was twenty nine years old and recently divorced. I wasn’t happy in my marriage and I wasn’t happy alone. I wasn’t happy (period). I was so in love with my husband, what had happened? I had a great job and a good life, what was wrong with me? I had read on Yogananda’s book Autobiography of a Yogi that if you prayed with total devotion to Babaji, one of the masters, that he would actually come. I remember that night well, I lighted a candle and prayed to the invisible. I called Babaji’s name three times out loud and I asked for help. Someone must’ve heard me!

The first help came in the form of a tantric teacher who taught me to cultivate a relationship with the Divine Mother. The Divine Mother as the feminine aspect of God, as the cosmic mother of all things, as the primal force of creation in all forms. I learned about Goddesses of all religions and I developed a devotional attitude that sparked love within me as I never felt before. Wether It does work to invoke the divine Goddess energy or I was just focusing on something other than my melodrama I started getting happier!

Second help came in the form of a friend of a friend. A musician friend of mine had suggested I meet this guy who had just moved to Florida from New Jersey. With this new friend I learned where my unhappiness was coming from and how much healing my heart required. He facilitated my first breath-work session, breathing in a circular manner connecting the inhale and the exhale while coached by a breath-worker. In the first twenty minutes I was sweating profusely and all of the sudden I felt a wall in-front of me. My breath coach asked me one question about my father and responded with an assertive tone of voice “My father does not exist. I don’t want to breathe like this anymore.” I declared the session was over and I went home.

Once home back to the safety of my aloneness I wrote on my journal. Obviously my father existed and enjoying very good health. In that moment I realized I had some inner exploration to do! I knew breath-work was going to heal me. Few months later as suggested by my new friend I registered for a 9 month Rebirthing Breathwork Program. This program was one weekend per month for nine months at the Philadelphia Rebirthing Breathwork Center. Every month I flew from West Palm Beach to Philly to unravel the imprints in my subconscious mind, the thoughts, feeling and emotions stored in my body. Most importantly I was getting to know myself.

I was making peace with my past by working with  conscious breathing, forgiveness, integration of un-acknowledged feelings and community. Breathwork and the support of my senior teachers help me relax in my body and to trust myself enough to allow the emotional charge to come forward and be released. I found safety within my mind to feel, to speak my truth, to let go and to share the work with others. I realized how not having bonded with my mother created unsettled feelings in the core of my being. These feelings never allowed me to experienced I belonged anywhere. I saw how my first broken heart was actually caused from not having my father’s presence. I became aware on what drove me to leave my country and family  at the early age of fifteen years old. I processed my upset feelings with my parents, I became aware of my judgements, expectations and projections.  Every time I would visit my parents I would notice how my relating to them would change. I had more patience, more space for them to be themselves. I was just more present for me and for them which in turn brought more joy and connection. In addition to healing with my parents my relationship to men also changed. I became more available, more loving and understanding to the man in my life. In general all my relationships improved as a result creating more intimacy within myself. This healing didn’t happen in one session or in one training. Deep healing happens over time and in layers. My commitment to my healing and to breath-work was the catalyst to change. I stayed alert to my thoughts and now I knew my tendencies and patterns; I wasn’t in victim consciousness anymore.

I understood the truth of the statement “your thoughts creates your reality”. Every time my mind wanted to blame I would remind myself of my choices. Little by little I saw the drama that I had created and with time and awareness started to see the beauty of it all.

Today I continue to work with conscious breathing and I am always amazed by the power of it’s simplicity. Is my heart healed? Absolutely! Do I continue to heal different aspects of my mind? Absolutely!

One thing is for sure I have more happiness and love in my heart and I have a tool that I can always count on…conscious connected breathing!

I am forever grateful to the Universe, the Cosmic Mother, all angels , gurus, and Spirit guide who heard my calling and continue to guide me and support me!breathing

Sula dePaula

Creator of A Breath of Consciousness Breathwork CD.

www.suladepaula.com

San Pedro Whispers

HummingbirdEP6

Unexpectedly I felt his touch.
It was as gentle as Humming bird kisses
I sensed the pull to unknown ceremonies down in the Canyon
Tired of my pain and committed to my freedom I showed up
I showed up again and again
Embraced by love and grace
Slowly unraveling my story
Purging projections and expectations
But It was in his land…
A land of high mountains, gentle people, and fluffy lamas
In his land the deepest blind spot came to light
Head pounding, body shivering
In every shiver eons of emotional tension released
Light of consciousness dissolved dis- ease of mind and body
The Earth swallowed my anxieties
The awareness of my personal trap was clear
I laid down my armor and my shield
I said goodbye to the one who has been fighting everything
Yes is the mantra, all heart opens
Separation was my mind’s perception and rejection was my defense
I now include myself in oneness with trust and vulnerability
I surrender my forceful will and bow in gratitude
eternal friend, where ever you are I am blowing humming bird kisses back to you.

Being You and no one else!

awls

Healing touch heals my body.

Circular Breathing heals my mind.

Access Bars ® energy work gives me the space to be me.

I didn’t think it was possible to be me without justifying or trying to fit in. I didn’t realize nine percent of the time most of us are mimicking others in a desperate attempt to be acknowledged. Is there a secret wish to live everybody else’s life but ours? Where did we buy the lie that everyone else is happy but us?

When we truly stop being other people, people from our past or present, a huge space opens up where there is nothing. Its not comfortable as the big question arises “who am I now?”  At first is terrifying the energy of the thought “ If I am not choosing for other people what am I going to choose now?” Then the space of possibilities opens up and many choices pops up. The most important question at this moment is “what can I choose that will be fun for me and create the future I like to have?”

When you have the space to be truly you there is ease in being all that you want to be.

At will you can explore what is actually available and not be in auto pilot responses to everyone else’s expectations or projections.

When you create the space to be you all of the sudden there is also space for others to be themselves.

What would it take to be totally aware when we are mimicking other people’s path ways and realities?

Who are we being when we are choosing against ourselves?

Can we destroy and uncreate all the ways that we diminish our being to fit into someone else’s ideal reality?

Lets choose more space! Be You and no one else!

Sula

Group Breathe May 20th.

The Radiance Sutras

The Radiance Sutras

Radiant One,
The life essence carries on its play
Through the pulsing rhythm
Of outward and inward movement.
This is the ceaseless throb, the rhythm of life-
Terrifying in its eternity, exquisite in its constancy.
The inhalation, the return movement of breath, sustains life.
The outgoing breath, purifies life.
These are the two poles
Between which respiration goes on unceasingly.
Between them is every delight you could desire.
Enter these turning points,
Where the rhythms of life transform into each other.
Breath flows in, filling, filling,
Then surrenders to flow out again.
In this moment, drink eternity.
Breath flows out, emptying, emptying,
Offering itself to infinity.
Cherishing these moments,
Mind dissolves into heart,
Heart dissolves into space,
Body becomes a shimmering field
Pulsating between fullness and emptiness…
(by Lorin Roche)

Moon Rising

Image

In this Scorpian heighten energy,
In this holy instant,
And through the darkness,
I rebirth myself once again.
I release the dark cape that was drenched in the conditioning of my heritage, in this reality and past.
I free myself from the DNA of suffering.
I step out of the old, uprooting implants of disease, conflicts, addictions, and separation.
Now, I am the deepest expression of my being.
Now, I laugh at the paralyzing fear of rejection,
I embrace myself.
Darkness is not.
I greet the Light.
I welcome the new Guides, Angels, and companions of kindness.
I sense a vision of real contribution to each other and to Planet Earth.
I feel the clarity of alignment, the ease of receiving, and the celebration of awakening.
Awakening in a new dream.
Awakening in the Oneness out from under the cape of limitation, the mask of personalities, beyond the mind, and deep in the heart.
Now the Scorpio discovers that there was nothing wrong with itself.
Its poisonous sting was there for protection and on automatic mode called – survival.
Now the Scorpio knows its innocence and its value.
I am Scorpio Rising.

Sula DePaula

Happy Solar Eclipse and New Moon in Scorpio!!

Nov. 2013

Spiritually Stressed?

Have you ever felt spiritually stressed?

Who are you praying to these days?

Do you feel like you have been dialing the wrong number or that the connection fades in and out?

Or have you given up completely?

It is a very good idea at these times of global changes to cultivate sacredness. To make a point to connect with something that inspires you deeply and have it not related to anything electronic. It may be being in nature, it may be deep meditation or perhaps in ancient, spiritual rituals. Inner silence and learning to go within for your answers is vital. I respect all the creative ways that individuals find peace within. I have been on Spiritual quest since childhood and today I am still sensitizing my perception of Divinity.

Lately I am noticing how some people are really struggling with either too much focus on Spirituality or they are in disbelief and desperation.

Here is something to contemplate to further deepen your relationship to Divinity/Spirit/God/Light.

Or you can even change those words and replace it with “the present moment”.

What if those negative patterns from childhood that you have tried so hard to clear is now affecting your level of connection with Divinity?

I am inspired to share my thoughts with you on spiritual stress because I have noticed that those who have more certainty in their relationship to the Divine have less over all stress in their lives.

I have also noticed that obsession with spirituality is actually counter-productive and doesn’t create much peace.

It seems to me that everyone is so genuine in wanting connection and significance. But if we don’t have awareness, we just might project our old behaviors once again-this time projecting it onto Divinity.

It is so heartwarming to see so many of us doing self-healing work and practicing being in the moment. I have been studying relationship dynamics and inner child work for awhile now and I am noticing how unresolved patterns of the past are keeping some people from having a healthy and intimate relationship with Divinity.

Below are some examples of patterns and how they manifest:

  • Addictive tendencies. This might show up as buying spiritual books excessively.
  • Revenge against God. If you think you are special and haven’t gotten what you wanted, you might be pissed off at God.
  • Being demanding with God. Your internal dialogue with divinity is like a spoiled child with endless needs.
  • Patterns of guilt. You are constantly doing spiritual practices and thinking what else can you deprive yourself of to make yourself feel more at ease.
  • Helplessness. You just feel that God never responds so you might as well give up. Not making any attempt to connect just makes it worse and you might end up depressed, but you don’t really know why.
  • Unworthiness. Feeling that no matter what you do, you are still not worthy of Grace and Holiness.
  • Negative religious programming. Thinking that you are “bad” and uncomfortable with words such as Holy, Devotion and Sacred.

These are just a few patterns that I have noticed in myself and in clients.

I have found that if you create more awareness on how you are relating to God/Spirit/Divinity/NOW, you will have more sensitivity to the Grace that is constantly trying to pour in your life.

One way to create awareness on this topic is to process how you related to your parents or care takers you had as a child. The best way I know how to become aware and integrate unconscious, negative patterns is to do breathwork. The breath keep you in present time!

Breathwork can not only help you see misperceptions that are keeping you stressed but also support you in having a physical experience of your inherent connection to Divinity.

And that is priceless!

Once you have certainty of your innocence, anything you choose to do is for your highest good.

Once you have certainty of your holiness, you can receive all the good you desire.

Once you have certainty of your connection to Divinity, everything you do is Spiritual.

Be light, play hard, and laugh often!

Sula

Next group classes in LA will be in May.
Breathwork session in Santa Monica by appointment.
Email info@suladepaula.com
Below a home video about Breathwork CD…

Intimacy from a breathworker’s perspective

Greetings and welcome to my blog!
My name is Sula dePaula.

I have been an Intuitive Breath Coach and Teacher for a while now and just now felt inspired to start a blog.
The topic at the moment is intimacy because I am getting ready to teach a 2 ½ day seminar where I will be covering hot topics like intimacy, commitment and other great stuff that I will write about in the future.
I just moved to Los Angeles five weeks ago from Delray Beach, South Florida. Florida was my first home since I moved from my birth land- Brazil.
Even though I am still in adaptation mode I am so excited to be teaching this weekend.
I invite you to take a breath of consciousness into your intimacy behaviors and tendencies.

As I read my script and prepare to teach the Advanced Breathwork class I feel so motivated to share with you these thoughts.
Perhaps it will give you some insights on your tendencies to separate and withdraw from your loved ones. Perhaps it will just spark your interest in using your breath to create personal shifts and deeper connections.
Just to be clear I am not talking about sex. One can have sexual encounters and experience zero soul intimacy. I am referring to true intimacy where you feel connected, vulnerable, transparent AND safe. It is very much possible to have these levels of intimacy with romantic partners, friends, family and God.

So what is your intimacy tolerance? Is it working for you?
When is it that you begin to withdraw, shut down and separate?
Are you craving for more intimacy in your life?
Are you longing for more intimacy with self and the God of your heart?
Dos anger or frustration come up for you to just hear the word “intimacy”?
Are you running from it like a vampire runs away from a cross? 🙂

What if intimacy patterns and behaviors started in the womb?
Have you ever consider that your time in your mother’s womb may have establish your blue print on intimacy?
The dictionary defines Intimacy as followed;
:: Genuine intimacy in human relationships requires dialogue, transparency, vulnerability and reciprocity. As a verb “intimate” means “to state or make known”. The activity of intimating (making known) underpins the meanings of “intimate” when used as a noun and adjective.

When you were developing in the dark warm womb did your mother talk to you? Did she make the pregnancy known and acknowledged you as important?
Was there reciprocity in lovingly sensing each other? Were you feeling safe or did you have to take on toxic chemicals, toxic emotions, and/or fear for your life in the womb?
If your parents did not want you or even tried to abort you Do you think that effected your ability to trust?
When you came out and finally felt the air and took your first breath did you bond with the loving eyes of your parents or were you taken away to bond with warm lights in the nursery?
How do you think that all affected your ability to trust intimacy?

What if codependency started in the womb??

If the baby felt responsible for the mother’s well being maybe he/she took on the patterns of codependency…maybe just maybe.

Take a light approach and just inquire within in silence and in truth.
Does it resonate with you. Did you feel totally uncomfortable while reading this blog?
The mind might trick you but your body always knows…

Stay tune for the next topic coming soon.

It is not the purpose of breathwork to re-live or re-enact the womb/birth experience but to unravel any “blueprint” or “program” in the subconscious that is causing pain or resulting in separation and dis-ease. Breathwork creates safety in the mind, releases stagnate energy patterns in the body, resulting in more freedom and joy in your heart.

I will start seeing clients for private sessions in Santa Monica starting February 22nd. Free lectures and group class starting March 1st at the Gateway Portal.
More information please visit http://www.suladepaula.com
To download CD visit http://www.abreathofconsciousness.com

Thank you!
I love you!
Sula