Tag Archive | letting go

Healing the Inner Child

blondgirlI took my inner child for a walk this past Sunday. She is about 5 years old with golden locks of hair and sad eyes.
She wanted to cry. Not just some tears or a random tantrum. It was a deep visceral sobbing. It wasn’t a long “poor me” crying session either.
It was a release from sadness in every cell in my body.
It felt like in that one cry, I cried for my mother, my grandmothers and all children who felt neglected.
I have done lots of inner child work before, I teach it almost daily to my clients, never did I have this communion with my little girl before.
I asked her the usual inner child questions ‘What would you like to say?” and “what would you like to hear?’.
I think there is an Universal Inner Child within us. He or she wants to be seen, heard, and valued.
I practiced slow deep breathing with her in a seated position and I just allowed her to hang out with me all day.
It isn’t so easy to do inner child work, that is why most people avoid it all their lives. It feels raw, extremely vulnerable, often times confusing and emotionally draining.
But the rewards are many. Inner child healing creates integration as a functioning adult, emotional maturity and a greater awareness when acting or reacting from a child’s perspective.
As we give our inner child what she perhaps never had, like deep listening, we will naturally create others being present, kind and loving towards us.
What does your inner child like to have or do today?

Mystical Inner Journey

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“My father does not exist. I don’t want to breathe like this anymore.”

It all started with a prayer. Actually, it was more like pleading for help. I didn’t t know to whom I was praying to or what I was praying for. All I remember was kneeling on the yoga mat in my yoga room sobbing countless times. I felt alone, confused and desperate. I was twenty nine years old and recently divorced. I wasn’t happy in my marriage and I wasn’t happy alone. I wasn’t happy (period). I was so in love with my husband, what had happened? I had a great job and a good life, what was wrong with me? I had read on Yogananda’s book Autobiography of a Yogi that if you prayed with total devotion to Babaji, one of the masters, that he would actually come. I remember that night well, I lighted a candle and prayed to the invisible. I called Babaji’s name three times out loud and I asked for help. Someone must’ve heard me!

The first help came in the form of a tantric teacher who taught me to cultivate a relationship with the Divine Mother. The Divine Mother as the feminine aspect of God, as the cosmic mother of all things, as the primal force of creation in all forms. I learned about Goddesses of all religions and I developed a devotional attitude that sparked love within me as I never felt before. Wether It does work to invoke the divine Goddess energy or I was just focusing on something other than my melodrama I started getting happier!

Second help came in the form of a friend of a friend. A musician friend of mine had suggested I meet this guy who had just moved to Florida from New Jersey. With this new friend I learned where my unhappiness was coming from and how much healing my heart required. He facilitated my first breath-work session, breathing in a circular manner connecting the inhale and the exhale while coached by a breath-worker. In the first twenty minutes I was sweating profusely and all of the sudden I felt a wall in-front of me. My breath coach asked me one question about my father and responded with an assertive tone of voice “My father does not exist. I don’t want to breathe like this anymore.” I declared the session was over and I went home.

Once home back to the safety of my aloneness I wrote on my journal. Obviously my father existed and enjoying very good health. In that moment I realized I had some inner exploration to do! I knew breath-work was going to heal me. Few months later as suggested by my new friend I registered for a 9 month Rebirthing Breathwork Program. This program was one weekend per month for nine months at the Philadelphia Rebirthing Breathwork Center. Every month I flew from West Palm Beach to Philly to unravel the imprints in my subconscious mind, the thoughts, feeling and emotions stored in my body. Most importantly I was getting to know myself.

I was making peace with my past by working with  conscious breathing, forgiveness, integration of un-acknowledged feelings and community. Breathwork and the support of my senior teachers help me relax in my body and to trust myself enough to allow the emotional charge to come forward and be released. I found safety within my mind to feel, to speak my truth, to let go and to share the work with others. I realized how not having bonded with my mother created unsettled feelings in the core of my being. These feelings never allowed me to experienced I belonged anywhere. I saw how my first broken heart was actually caused from not having my father’s presence. I became aware on what drove me to leave my country and family  at the early age of fifteen years old. I processed my upset feelings with my parents, I became aware of my judgements, expectations and projections.  Every time I would visit my parents I would notice how my relating to them would change. I had more patience, more space for them to be themselves. I was just more present for me and for them which in turn brought more joy and connection. In addition to healing with my parents my relationship to men also changed. I became more available, more loving and understanding to the man in my life. In general all my relationships improved as a result creating more intimacy within myself. This healing didn’t happen in one session or in one training. Deep healing happens over time and in layers. My commitment to my healing and to breath-work was the catalyst to change. I stayed alert to my thoughts and now I knew my tendencies and patterns; I wasn’t in victim consciousness anymore.

I understood the truth of the statement “your thoughts creates your reality”. Every time my mind wanted to blame I would remind myself of my choices. Little by little I saw the drama that I had created and with time and awareness started to see the beauty of it all.

Today I continue to work with conscious breathing and I am always amazed by the power of it’s simplicity. Is my heart healed? Absolutely! Do I continue to heal different aspects of my mind? Absolutely!

One thing is for sure I have more happiness and love in my heart and I have a tool that I can always count on…conscious connected breathing!

I am forever grateful to the Universe, the Cosmic Mother, all angels , gurus, and Spirit guide who heard my calling and continue to guide me and support me!breathing

Sula dePaula

Creator of A Breath of Consciousness Breathwork CD.

www.suladepaula.com

Steps to expand gratitude

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It’s Thanksgiving time in the US.
A time to gather with family and friends and share food, love and gratitude.
I am aware that for some people right now the feeling of gratitude is not the easiest to access.
What if you don’t really feel grateful?
What if its been a hard year for you, or if the world’s issues has you on a spiral down into gloomy feelings?

Instead of making yourself wrong try these simple steps to have and enjoy  a bigger grateful heart. Please share with others as you never know who is struggling within.

1. Energetically lower any walls, barriers, barricades, or “Do Not Enter” signs around your heart center. Allow your heart to open, staying present and vulnerable.

2. Do a fear and/or resentment inventory. You can do it as a writing process if you wish or just ask “If I was resenting someone or something right now what would it be?”, “If I had fear right now what would it be?”, and “what would it take to clear it?”. Let it go.

3. Invoke kindness. Lower you barriers again and soften your edges and become aware of your surroundings. Start with expressing gratitude for the obvious things around you. “I am grateful for the roof over my head” “I am grateful for the clothes I am wearing” “I am grateful for the body I have”. Slowing expand your awareness and your vision acknowledging the blessings in your life by expressing conscious gratitude for it. “I am grateful for my friend” “I am grateful for the town I live in” I am grateful for all the events in my life that led me to this very moment” “I am grateful for this journey called life” “I am grateful that I am in my life” I am grateful for the Earth”. Etc.

Acknowledge YOU! Acknowledge yourself for creating all the things in your life! Good or bad because at the end of the day ALL of it is a contribution to your personal evolution. Once you can do that with sincerity you will naturally extend it to others.

I am grateful that I never give up on my happiness.
Gratitude expands who you are, what you are, what you do, and the gift you are to the world.

Thank you for your contribution to me and to the world!

Happy Thanksgiving!

San Pedro Whispers

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Unexpectedly I felt his touch.
It was as gentle as Humming bird kisses
I sensed the pull to unknown ceremonies down in the Canyon
Tired of my pain and committed to my freedom I showed up
I showed up again and again
Embraced by love and grace
Slowly unraveling my story
Purging projections and expectations
But It was in his land…
A land of high mountains, gentle people, and fluffy lamas
In his land the deepest blind spot came to light
Head pounding, body shivering
In every shiver eons of emotional tension released
Light of consciousness dissolved dis- ease of mind and body
The Earth swallowed my anxieties
The awareness of my personal trap was clear
I laid down my armor and my shield
I said goodbye to the one who has been fighting everything
Yes is the mantra, all heart opens
Separation was my mind’s perception and rejection was my defense
I now include myself in oneness with trust and vulnerability
I surrender my forceful will and bow in gratitude
eternal friend, where ever you are I am blowing humming bird kisses back to you.

Tools that works so fast you might be wishing your “upset” back!

SuladePaula

SuladePaula

I realized how quickly and magically the Access tools work when I visited my family in Brazil two years ago.
As you may or may not know family dynamics or patterns  gets very activated around family gatherings. In the past my borther’s remarks on particular topics would land on me very heavily. It would immediately create a physical reaction and a big frowning face lasting for a while, and in some cases my upsets with him would last years.
 
Being that I’ve spent most of my adult life learning about relationship patterns and what to do with my emotions and feelings I had collected many tools. In Breath-work (Conscious Breathing) I learned to breathe through my feelings, express myself, and eventually let it go. This time around I had a new tool to play with and it surprised me!
 
During the first family dinner in my last trip home my brother started bringing back the old remarks and as usual my body started shrinking. I said nothing. I knew that expressing my thoughts would only spoil the family dinner. Few hours later, still charged and contracted,  I remembered Access Consciousness questions – new tools!! 
I asked “What stupidity am I using to create the upset I am choosing?” (stupidity meaning unconsciousness) I ran the Clearing Statement and just like magic I felt lighter immediately and the charge was gone! Still stunned, I heard my insane mind arguing…”wait a minute, if I let it go I can’t make him wrong anymore. I am right and his wrong!” Bang! I nailed it! I was unlocking an old pattern of wanting to be right. My mind wanted to keep the upset so I could continue to make him wrong and me right. As if holding on to the upset was a punishment for him! I wanted to hold on to the upset a bit longer. The tool worked too fast. How insane is that?
I am sure you can’t relate to it. I am the only one who has this pattern! :-[)
 
I know these questions don’t make much sense but I am finding freedom by asking questions and breathing with life.
 
I wonder…
How many of us are unconsciously holding on to upsets just to prove the righteousness of our point of you?
How many of us would rather be right than happy? (honestly)
How many of us would like to choose something different?
How about trying a new tool? 
 
Choosing ease, joy, and glory!
Sula 
Next Access Bars Class February 22. Now offering 8 CEUS for Massage Therapist.
0001-54383116

Click for info

Spiritually Stressed?

Have you ever felt spiritually stressed?

Who are you praying to these days?

Do you feel like you have been dialing the wrong number or that the connection fades in and out?

Or have you given up completely?

It is a very good idea at these times of global changes to cultivate sacredness. To make a point to connect with something that inspires you deeply and have it not related to anything electronic. It may be being in nature, it may be deep meditation or perhaps in ancient, spiritual rituals. Inner silence and learning to go within for your answers is vital. I respect all the creative ways that individuals find peace within. I have been on Spiritual quest since childhood and today I am still sensitizing my perception of Divinity.

Lately I am noticing how some people are really struggling with either too much focus on Spirituality or they are in disbelief and desperation.

Here is something to contemplate to further deepen your relationship to Divinity/Spirit/God/Light.

Or you can even change those words and replace it with “the present moment”.

What if those negative patterns from childhood that you have tried so hard to clear is now affecting your level of connection with Divinity?

I am inspired to share my thoughts with you on spiritual stress because I have noticed that those who have more certainty in their relationship to the Divine have less over all stress in their lives.

I have also noticed that obsession with spirituality is actually counter-productive and doesn’t create much peace.

It seems to me that everyone is so genuine in wanting connection and significance. But if we don’t have awareness, we just might project our old behaviors once again-this time projecting it onto Divinity.

It is so heartwarming to see so many of us doing self-healing work and practicing being in the moment. I have been studying relationship dynamics and inner child work for awhile now and I am noticing how unresolved patterns of the past are keeping some people from having a healthy and intimate relationship with Divinity.

Below are some examples of patterns and how they manifest:

  • Addictive tendencies. This might show up as buying spiritual books excessively.
  • Revenge against God. If you think you are special and haven’t gotten what you wanted, you might be pissed off at God.
  • Being demanding with God. Your internal dialogue with divinity is like a spoiled child with endless needs.
  • Patterns of guilt. You are constantly doing spiritual practices and thinking what else can you deprive yourself of to make yourself feel more at ease.
  • Helplessness. You just feel that God never responds so you might as well give up. Not making any attempt to connect just makes it worse and you might end up depressed, but you don’t really know why.
  • Unworthiness. Feeling that no matter what you do, you are still not worthy of Grace and Holiness.
  • Negative religious programming. Thinking that you are “bad” and uncomfortable with words such as Holy, Devotion and Sacred.

These are just a few patterns that I have noticed in myself and in clients.

I have found that if you create more awareness on how you are relating to God/Spirit/Divinity/NOW, you will have more sensitivity to the Grace that is constantly trying to pour in your life.

One way to create awareness on this topic is to process how you related to your parents or care takers you had as a child. The best way I know how to become aware and integrate unconscious, negative patterns is to do breathwork. The breath keep you in present time!

Breathwork can not only help you see misperceptions that are keeping you stressed but also support you in having a physical experience of your inherent connection to Divinity.

And that is priceless!

Once you have certainty of your innocence, anything you choose to do is for your highest good.

Once you have certainty of your holiness, you can receive all the good you desire.

Once you have certainty of your connection to Divinity, everything you do is Spiritual.

Be light, play hard, and laugh often!

Sula

Next group classes in LA will be in May.
Breathwork session in Santa Monica by appointment.
Email info@suladepaula.com
Below a home video about Breathwork CD…